Every year, about this time, I write myself a list of resolutions to achieve over the following 12 months while also going through the list of resolutions that I wrote the previous year, and marking how successful I have been. The idea is that I have a bit of a focus over the year and can feel a warm sense of achievement about what I’ve done.

So to start with here’s my 2018 year’s resolutions (how I did is in teal!)

1. Perform for two weeks at Edinburgh Festival – I’d like to do my show “Truth” at the fringe and hopefully get at least 1 review and maybe (maybe) 5 people a show (wild ambition)!
   
   FAIL – I applied and failed to get a room. I also tried to perform the show twice separately which both failed – the first in York where the gig was pulled by the venue 10 mins before it was due to start and the second in Liverpool where no-one turned up and me and the venue manager sat on the stage, in front of 70 empty seats with him telling me some people might come later, 30 mins after the advertised start time.“Was it harrowing?” I hear you ask. “Yes. Yes it was.”
2. Give one free day of theatre marketing consultancy to a theatre that needs a friendly helping hand and support.
   
   FAIL – I offered myself to a few people and put it on facebook/twitter/linkedin and the world took a collective shrug.
3. Write & perform a new storytelling show, it’ll be 5 stories all about love, loss and change. 
   
   FAIL – Not even close,  I do however have the plot…
4. Go to the gym at least 15 times over 30 days so that I break my exercise-free existance and die less young by binge-fitnessing.
   
   FAIL – However this should be caveated by the fact that I bought a rowing machine (which I’ve used less than 15 times over the 7 months I’ve had it)
5. Perform at 33 gigs throughout the year, essentially for 11 months of the year do 3 gigs a month… That’s how maths work.
   
   FAIL – 32.
6. Write 6 really great blog posts about theatre, comedy, arts marketing or just life in general, but they’ve got to be phenomenal articles.
   
   FAIL – I wrote 5 that I was happy with which are: Using Data In The Arts, Are We All Using The Wrong Tools, Theatre Marketing, My Ideal Theatre and Part One
7. Write and direct a WIP of a new comedy theatre show called The Don (a two-man amalgamation of The Godfather, Scarface, Reservoir Dogs etc..)
   
   FAIL – Not even close.
8. Go to Aberystwyth where Hinterland was filmed. (If you’ve not seen Hinterland then seriously, take a look!)
   
   FAIL – The closest I got was Anglesey
9. Raise £500 for charity through either gigging or by doing something silly?
   
   FAIL – Didn’t get on it.
10. Write 5 new comedy songs to be used at comedy gigs (and recorded into an album)
    
    FAIL – Didn’t actually write one new song that I used.

So overall a pretty poor year with a new low of 0 out of 10!

And so to my 2019 resolutions…

1. Write six blog posts
   I’ve an extensive list of things I’ve been meaning to blog about over the last 12 months – titles include some Arts Marketing geeky ones like “A Brand In Transition”, “Making Data Useful” and “10 things I’d happily send to Room 101” to more jolly ones like “My Favourite Restaurants Ever”.
2. Buy a house
   Mental this one. I’ve put off buying a house for so long – essentially a worry about job security and prospects and where I live next. I was also going to put it off due to Brexit but that may or may not happen and may be in the next 3 months or the next 3 years.
3. Perform at 40 gigs
   Yep, this one is back. I run a gig with Pete Selwood and Ben Powell so this should be easier now. It’s also linked to number 10!
   Count to date: 1
4. Storytelling show
   I’ve been making storytelling bits for a while and they are generally pretty good. It’s essentially my homage to Daniel Kitson and Will Adamsdale but without their wit or skill. However whenever I do storytelling people want more and whenever I do musical comedy people want storytelling so yeah, the people have spoken.
   Started…
5. Visit People
   I am shit at keeping in touch. So I’m going to aim to see more people and stop what is currently happening which is my gradual conversion into a hermit. If you want to hang out then message me now!
   Seen: Matt & Dom
6. Join a Political Party
   Another one I’ve pondered for a while. It seems mad that I have a good education and job and yet the closest I engage with the general lunatics who run the nation is when I don’t vote for them every few years. So it’s time to up my game. In case you’re wondering – either Lib Dem or Green. No I will not be joining the Labour Party.
7. One Free Day Of Free(man) Marketing Consultancy
   I offered this last year and no fucker too it up so here it is again. I’m not a consultant but I know a bit about Arts Marketing, particularly in venues. So if you want me for a day, either under the radar or strapped to a desk then get in touch. All I ask is that a) you don’t pay me, b) you’re honest and c) you work for a not-for-profit.
   Done 2 x 2hr sessions with theatres and have a 3 hr session planned in for March.
8. Write a Play
   I did this. I wrote a play in 2018. Was it good? No. Was it funny? Occasionally. Was it, due to the constant political changes out of date within 1 month? Certainly. Did David Hare do a similar show at the NT that is undoubtedly like my play but more worthy and less enjoyable? Indubitably. So let’s do that again and continue keeping David Hare unknowingly on his toes.
9. Keep Track Of My Hours
   I’m a dick when it comes to work. I’ll do a 60 hour week and not really notice. Apart from I get tired, ill, a bit stressed and then fall over (eventually). So this year I’m going to track my hours, I’m going to try and not work more than 40 hours a week (which is more than my contract anyway), but I’m going to try and work smarter in that time. Yes so far (Jan)
10. Get Fit
    A bit generic, but I’m terribly unfit at the moment. This isn’t a smart objective. I guess it’s a fingers-crossed thing!

If any of these sound up your street, and you’d like to help/take part/take advantage then please get in touch.

Cheers, Sam Xx

“In an era of stress and anxiety, when the present seems unstable and the future unlikely, the natural response is to retreat and withdraw from reality, taking recourse either in fantasies of the future or in modified visions of a half-imagined past.”

Alan Moore

I was reading through a few of my posts on here, wondering what to write next and I noticed that my posts largely fall into 3 categories.

• Serious posts about arts marketing
• Non-serious posts about arts marketing
• Posts about comedy and/or health and well-being

I’ve been reading lots of articles about mental health over the last few months, in part because I have friends who have mental health issues, in part because the challenges we all face interest me and, in part because I have my own from time-to-time.

It’s not something I talk about tremendously often, or, at the very least, something I try not to, certainly it’s something I find faintly embarrassing, like someone who enjoys the music of Toploader or supports Manchester United but has never seen a game at Old Trafford. 

On Lark Lane in Liverpool last week, I was watching the football with a mate, and, after the classic initial greetings, observations on the pros & cons of Klopp’s gegenpressing and the merits of James Milner (England’s best player) my mate turned to me, and with a wry smile said, “how are you actually beneath all the facade and deflection?”

“Yeah, fine”

Which is both true and also not true. 

Yes I am, largely fine. Life isn’t bad by any stretch, I’m really happy at home, I have my health, and Newcastle have won two games in a row. Also I don’t deflect. It feels like complaining about life is, frankly, a little churlish. I have a good job, friends, family, a new nephew who is the cutest child ever and sure Brexit is round the corner and Jeremy “The Saviour” Corbyn is being a bit of wet blanket at the moment with his principles and steadfast beliefs (who likes winning anyway), but overall, it’s all okay. 

I’ve also just watched Peter Jackson’s They Shall Not Grow Old, which is about the men and boys of World War One, a beautiful documentary and work of art, that I think really connected me with that generation. 

It’s fascinating watching the men on horses, riding through the mud to be able to think that members of my family (particularly my great uncle Rich – of whom we have a picture of him in uniform and on horseback) went through that. The past has never felt so close. My only sadness is that my Nana (who died a year or so ago) never got chance to see it as I’m sure she’d have got more out of it than I did. 

I sometimes feel a bit stupid writing this blog, but I write it because there’s stuff I’m comfortable saying (very little of genuine emotional value) and things I’m comfortable writing. I think detaching a bit, via this, helps in many ways, helps to make that disconnect that allows me to actually write about what I feel or think. It’s also not always read. a good proportion of what I write on here is live and visible but never actually shared more widely, it’s the process of writing which offers the partial catharsis.

So what’s been on my mind?

I guess a couple of things. The future (shocker) and also creativity. The future relates to general things to do with not having kids, or owning a house, or being able to actually make proper roots. And the creativity thing is to do with a crippling doubt I have about anything creative I do.

The creativity thing is an odd one. I suspect that working for a creative organisation in the role I do is possibly the worst things for it. Theatre’s divide into creatives and non-creatives, so despite having professionally directed and made small shows, I feel, pretty frequently, creatively inferior. It’s noone’s fault, it’s very much my own insecurity, and my inability to push for doing creative projects links to that. There’s a comfort zone I’m in. And I don’t count my marketing work as creative.

Yet I’m not always sure it’s an inferiority complex or insecurity. It’s a safety, risk averse thing too (bizarre when you consider the stand up thing). But that’s not really what this post is about (we’ll save that for another time).

Truth be told I’ve been having an issue with anxiety in the last few months, I think maybe 8 or 9 months, probably a little longer and it’s been getting worse recently.

What do I mean by anxiety?

At the gentle end I find it hard to turn off, I constantly feel like I should be doing something better, or solving a problem. There’s a negative streak that starts to hit after that, a relentless pessimism, that I try and hide as best I can. At the harder end, it can mean me curled up on the floor in my house, finding it hard to breath, as if someone is standing on my chest, my head thumping and spinning and tears rolling down my face.

The gentle end has been years, the harder end has been more frequent recently, and in the last 3 month really much more.

Get a grip. 
You need to learn to relax.
It’s not worth getting stressed about.
There’s nothing you can do right now.

It’s really hard not just to say fuck off. 
As if it’s that frigging easy. 

It’s a cycle of thoughts and actions that make it worse. Combinations of tiredness, trying to work my way out of it, constant needs to check and double check, self-blame for everything, and trying to be what is expected.

So there we go.

It occurred to me, and I imagine every football fan who doesn’t support a Manchester-based team this year that the odds have been stacked heavily in the favor of Man Utd and Man City. On a very simple level just by the amount that has been spend on the respective teams.  It got me thinking about the notion of buying success and also what success looks like.

In footballing terms it often feels like Transfer Expenditure = Success – that has a strong element of truth – think of Blackburn during the Walker years or when Chelsea first became a force under Abramovich – but then there’s also places where this isn’t true – Leicester winning the league under Ranieri.

The plaudits will, undoubtedly be out for Pep Guardiola, who has won the league with a team playing stylish football in a team that exudes style and panache. However does he deserve the plaudits over Klopp, or Benitez, or Sean Dyche? In a world where money is so important – after all, how many times have we berated a chairman for not spending – who really has made some smart moves? Who’s over and under achieving?

I took the net spend figures for the season for all the EPL teams to work out who has spent the most. Now obviously this doesn’t take into account historical team spend, wages etc… We would expect newly promoted teams to spend more to raise the quality of the team, after all Huddersfield have not been a EPL team before. What I’m saying is that all you’re about to read is flawed, okay?

So if we assume that the more you spend the better your team should do (which seems reasonable based on internet football forums about how to make a football team better) then the table should read like this…

Team	Net Spend (£m)
Man City	-£225
Man Utd	-£156
Everton	-£77
Chelsea	-£69
Brighton	-£65
Watford	-£53
Huddersfield	-£51
WBA	-£48
Crystal Palace	-£45
Leicester	-£38
Bournemouth	-£34
Tottenham	-£20
Newcastle	-£20
Stoke	-£14
Liverpool	-£7
Arsenal	£3
Burnley	£14
West Ham	£16
Swansea	£17
Southampton	£31

We’d expect City and United at the top of the table and then Southampton and Swansea at the bottom. Curiously you also have Arsenal and Liverpool down the bottom too.

I then ranked all the teams by spend, took the actual league table and put that alongside it. Essentially to see whether our theory of Money = Success is correct. Inevitably it is not.

	Spend Position	League Position
Team	Position	Position
Man City	1	1
Man Utd	2	2
Everton	3	8
Chelsea	4	5
Brighton	5	13
Watford	6	12
Huddersfield	7	16
WBA	8	20
Crystal Palace	9	15
Leicester	10	9
Bournemouth	11	11
Tottenham	12	4
Newcastle	13	10
Stoke	14	19
Liverpool	15	3
Arsenal	16	6
Burnley	17	7
West Ham	18	14
Swansea	19	17
Southampton	20	18

Still some familiar names at the top and also the bottom.

So it would seem that we have it Pep has made the most of the extra cash and won the league. So is he the best manager?

I think maybe not. Pep has merely met expectations. Sure he’s won the league, but he’s done it with the biggest budget. What’s interesting are the people who’ve overachieved. The people who have made the cash transform into a higher points total than their budgets should really allow.

	Spend Position	League Position	Difference in positions
Team	Position	Position	Position
Liverpool	15	3	12
Arsenal	16	6	10
Burnley	17	7	10
Tottenham	12	4	8
West Ham	18	14	4
Newcastle	13	10	3
Swansea	19	17	2
Southampton	20	18	2
Leicester	10	9	1
Man City	1	1	0
Man Utd	2	2	0
Bournemouth	11	11	0
Chelsea	4	5	-1
Everton	3	8	-5
Stoke	14	19	-5
Watford	6	12	-6
Crystal Palace	9	15	-6
Brighton	5	13	-8
Huddersfield	7	16	-9
WBA	8	20	-12

So I added in a column to examine the difference between the two. What’s fascinating is that in this flawed chart Klopp is substantially the best manager, closely followed by “recent failure” Arsene Wenger and my favourite manager Sean Dyche.

Now of course this is hugely flawed. Liverpool and Arsenal have a longer history of major investment in the team than Burnley and the same goes for Brighton and Huddersfield so judging based on one season is pointless. Yet, as an indicator, I’d make a strong case for Sean Dyche as manager of the season, maybe even as a manager to turn to to maximise resources.

I’m tired now and as I read more into this the inherent flaws in my logic become ever more apparent.. Tweet me and let me know what you think, this seemed interesting to write at 11pm – the question is should i do more and do them properly? Night x

I spent the last year writing a play.
It’s good.
I wrote it.
It must be.
Surely.

Sadly no-one agrees.

Lots of people say you should take rejection with a pinch of salt. I say no. Take that salt, add some lemon juice and squeeze it onto the gaping wound where you heart once beat. So here’s my guide to reading a rejection letter as a jilted playwright.

WHAT THEY SAY vs WHAT THEY MEAN

“Thank you for submitting your play”
“Thank you for testing our recently upgraded website”

“I’m afraid that on this occasion your play was not selected for further development.”
“Because we’ve already commissioned writers for the next 30 years we’ve no room at the inn.”

“we are not currently in a position to offer further feedback on your work”
“Christ alive, reading it was bad enough, I don’t want to have to consider your feelings. Also, if it turns out I was wrong I’ll look like a right dick”

“We ask therefore, that you respect a twelve month interval before sending us another script.”
“Please fuck off”

“Please be considerate of other writers”
“Please fuck off and get out of the way of writers who are better than you. Ones who we know.”

“We hope that you will not be disheartened by this decision”
“Have you considered killing yourself? That’s how we felt when reading your script, someone should pay for the 4 pages I read”

“We would also encourage you to send your script to other new writing venues such as the Royal Court Theatre and the National Theatre”
“But only if you are based in London”

“We wish you all the best with your future writing.”
“Have you considered another career choice?”

“Firstly we would like to apologise for having taken so long to respond to you, it has been a particularly busy few months”
“Sorry, our role as a company devoted to new writing has taken a backseat to workshops”

“Whilst we thoroughly enjoyed reading your play, it is not one that we wish to pursue into production at this time”
“If this play was a person it would have a terminal disease. And be on fire. In a desert.”

“Best wishes, Admin Placement”
“Best Wishes, Admin Placement”

It’s become a bit of a tradition that on the way home from the AMA conference I gather my thoughts and write a blog post about the events and things it has raised. Luckily this year’s conference was in Edinburgh so I’ve a full 4 hours until I get home to do “thought gathering” – I’m sure when the AMA is eventually held in Liverpool it’ll put a stop to this (35 mins is too quick a journey!). I want to start with a few thoughts about what was said at the conference and what thoughts I had as a result and then move on to the conference itself.

This year’s theme was “On A Mission To Matter” – a worthy theme – looked at organisational relevance. My thoughts however, although vaguely linked to the theme were more about the broader role of marketing and theatre itself. My notes from yesterday can be found by clicking here and there’s a few bullet points about today’s sessions below.

• Plan or Canvas?
  Should we be creating plans that work on a 3 – 5 year basis or look at a more canvas approach which places values at the centre rather than the achievement of statistical or financial values? I’m not sure. I think there is probably an issue in the arts with the length of arts funding and how planning is achieved. It’s often said in politics that the first few years of a Presidency they can actually achieve something but then all their time becomes devoted to re-election. I wonder if, with a 3 year funding cycle, organisations can spend the 3rd year worrying about re-election rather than action – also whether the current revenue model where organisations are fulfilling requirements of the funders means that we have organisations being too broad in their remit to guarantee funding. Is specialism better than breadth? I suspect they should compliment but I’m not sure it’s seen very often.
• Inclusiveness
  I wrote a lot of notes which were about breaking down barriers – both internally and externally. How do we keep those on-board happy but change effectively to make our artform or venue less scary. It made me think about classical music. I don’t attend classical music because when I read about it I feel stupid. I worry that I won’t understand what’s happening, what’s good or bad, what the difference between a sonata and a requiem is, or even if those words are real. How do we break that down?
• Welcome & Inclusivity
  We should be welcoming (well duh!). When people arrive does a member of staff say hello, ask people if they’re okay? Do we take their coats? Smile? For those people who regularly engage with us do we differentiate between the artforms they see. If they watch only amateur work are they less valuable to us? I’ve always though there should be an equality with art – Shakespeare is no more worthy than standup, Classical isn’t better than folk. But do we see it like that? Do we treat our audiences like that? And if we want true equality then how do we balance this against the financial realities of our organisation? What does inclusivity for a 21st Century theatre look like? Is it just Am Dram? Is it Yoga, drama classes for the over 60s, a community music stage, open mic? Is it about having a stance and sticking to it? Theatre didn’t speak with a voice pro or anti Brexit (it’s tricky I appreciate with funding). Is that the leadership theatre should be offering? Social, moral, political, artistic leadership? Or at the very least how should we facilitate the debate?
• Serious R&D
  I’ve written about this before – how do we give ourselves scope to experiment? Do we specify budgets for experimentation and R&D? The creative side of an organisation does this a lot? Scratch performances, commissions, open dress rehearsals – does that need to be a specific budget line in the administrative side? What if the organisation wanted to go cloud based? How would we test? How do we place organisational learning at the core of what we do? For a while I’ve wanted to visit other arts organisations internationally to find out how they work first-hand? What value would this bring long-term?
• Digital Product
  We need more and it needs to be broader. Digital shouldn’t be hived away as part of the marketing mix. Podcasts, vodcasts, blogs, Q&As, Live Streams, Video, & Galleries online should be part of the programming mix as an acceptance that how we consume media has fundamentally changed and that provision of these experiences could develop audience of the future to connect with us? We need to be segmented and targeted in what we create too – we want young people to come to the theatre – let’s go for engaging digitally and then for bums on seats?
• Are our audience dying?
  This was mentioned a few times. Do we regularly check our audience demographic? Is it getting younger or older? The younger generation, the one currently being screwed by the entire world, will have a lower disposable income and more opportunities to engage with the arts in a way that’s not sat in a theatre seat. We need enough of them excited about what we do and quickly. Consider this – over 60s get a discount – granted they’re not working, but they’re also time rich, are more likely to have better pensions, have lower outgoings, might own a house and aren’t bringing up a family, don’t have to pay for childcare, had free university as an option – but get a discount. Is age an appropriate line for discounting?

And the conference… Well, I’m going to copy and paste what I wrote last year.

The conference was, I must say, a little disappointing, despite what I have written and learnt, that’s not to say bad, just a little underwhelming. It felt a bit tired at points, a little traditional and a little slow paced.  However I thought it was worth going to. This seems a little negative, but, I still gained ideas and felt refreshed (in a work sense) by the conference, and that is of great value in itself.

What would make it better? Shorter seminars (90 mins is a stretched 45 mins – let’s be concise) and more of them, 8 seminar sessions should be a minimum over 2 days – which would also help with networking. Short sharp keynote speeches – an hour is too long to be consistently inspirational, funny, empathetic and dynamic. Round table events on key subjects, issues, groups (touring companies round table) – perhaps programmes & strands of work? Maybe even exhibitors sharing seminars – let’s seem them fight it out.

This year the same applied. If I could change it then I’d add the following sessions…

Down the Pan: Learning from Failure
2:30pm – Thursday – (40 min)
Four Marketing Director’s talk about their greatest failures. From creating totally white leaflets to papering all but one seat, we talk about the errors, what happened next and what advice they’d give.

Now That’s What I Call Adwords
11am – Wednesday – (40 min)
A blast through Google adwords, running your first campaign, the difference between display ads and search, and some of the features you never knew were there.  When I say “Ad” you say “Words”!

Survey ManKey: A quick guide to the perfect survey
4pm – Wednesday – (40 min)
All the Artistic Director cares about is whether they enjoyed the show – what else should we ask? A guide to questions you might ask, information you might receive and things you might change as a result.

Little By Little: Top tips for a marketing oasis.
11am – Thursday – (45 min)
What are the tiny changes that can make a big difference – bring a notebook as 10 top marketing professionals give you 1 minute quick fixes for your organisation. Top tip #45 – Never use the phrase “world-class” to describe something shit.

Obviously I’ve written them to be funny(ish) but on a serious note, I’d go to all these and might even run one or two..

Dear David,

I rent a house and the wall outside was chipped, cracking and looked a state.

So I sanded it down with the help of a friend, removed the dirt, the flaking paint and weeds. I bought paint and painted it so it looked fresh and new. My next door neighbour saw me outside painting and said “oh have you bought the house?” “No” I said, continuing to paint “we’re just renting”. “Is it worth it if you’re renting” he asked looking a little confused. I paused for a second and then said “Just because I’m passing through doesn’t mean I can’t make it nicer on the way”.

This will be the last time I write to you I’m afraid, our acquaintance must come to an end, I fear you, like many of your contemporaries will be consigned to the history books, mere headings, subtitles and footnotes in the annals of politics, talked about in hushed, nervous tones. But I want you to know that you won’t be forgotten, time may weary you, the years may pass, but I will remember you and what you have done and stood for.

Now I know that the chances are you will never read this – I know this because I monitor the people who read my posts and I know I have a core audience of about 13 people – it’s statistically unlikely – in many ways simply writing this would be a waste of time if it wasn’t so cathartic, so freeing, so important to say the things I’m about to say.

I want to ask you what you have done with my country.

I was brought up to believe this was a country where knowledge, learning, education was incredibly important. Instead I find a nation where the young are burden with mountains of debt from trying to achieve more, better, to reach higher. Where experts are not listened to and unsupported opinion reigns strongly while fact and critical thinking is left to die by the wayside. Where education is increasingly narrowed, where the only thing between a joyless experience of learning is the dedication of overworked, underpaid, under appreciated teachers. Where initiative, innovation and experimentation are taken from the hands of expert educators.

I was brought up to believe that we were an inclusive nation. Where we cared for those less fortunate, where we opened a door to help a neighbour, where we comforted those downtrodden and offered them safe haven. I thought we wanted to help people get off the streets and into safe, secure homes rather than put people there. I thought we’d look after the poorest, rather than take away all they have while scapegoating them. I thought we believed that every member of this country was equal, regardless of whether they lived in a Conservative, Labour or Liberal area. That everyone deserved the best, not those simply in the right constituencies.

I thought we were dreamers. A land of James Dyson’s, Clive Sinclair’s, of eccentrics who wanted to push the barriers. Make the air cleaner, roads safer, land greener and sky bluer. But all I see are huge corporations sucking, draining country. All I see are obscene amounts of money passing from state to individuals. All I see is the bullying tactics of media moguls, changing the very direction of travel with a headline, a poster, a hateful word.

We fought evil. Racism had no place, we thought in bigger pictures, we thought about ideals, about how the greater good was the unity of all, to help bring the liberalism and British beliefs to other shores, not to lose them on our own. We would challenge lies feverishly and without mercy. We were the nation who recognised the early signs of right wing racism and offered support, helped, we never thought we see it here.

I thought that Britain’s place in the world was to make the world a better place – to make it happier, safer, more caring and stable – all achieved with a stiff upper lip and a fundamental belief that if we all worked for the betterment of others then our own happiness would be secured.

So what went wrong?

Maybe those beliefs were all lies. Maybe it’s an imaginary view of an imaginary place that never really existed. Maybe I was the only one who wanted them, maybe society isn’t ready to work out what comes next after the greed, the selfish self-gratification and capitalism. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I know the answers, I’d just hoped we were prepared to try and find better answers rather than fall backwards to the failed solutions of days gone by.

And so I ask you David, what did you do, what did you really do? In that rose-tinted world where experts, facts and truth were cornerstones of British values – did you leave this place a better place than you found it?

So David, if you want to chat, have a coffee, talk about it all, then tweet me @mrfreeman1984, let’s work out what you do now to make amends, or maybe we could just sand and paint a wall and leave it a little better than before – just see how that feels.

Best, Sam.