Olympic LIVE Blog

Hello and welcome to the LIVE (all caps) blog of what’s been going down…

I’ve been at Jon Richardson’s show which has been a brilliant evening out, I’d highly recommend it, although it should be said it didn’t involve many flags… Review to follow at some point… Anyway, on with the Games… Let’s summarise the procession so far…

Hottest Country: Denmark tied with Iceland
Most Oiled Person: Fiji Flag Carrier
Best Suits: Italy (by Armarni)
Most Obscure Country: Letoutu (probably not spelt right…)
Worst Costume: Honduras (what were they thinking??? Like an office party…)
Next Obscure Country: Federated States Of Micronesia (I really didn’t pay attention in geography…)
Place most likely to have inpatient admissions from excessive drumming: London
My Favourite Flag:
Country who think it’s still the Euro’s football:
Portugal (lots of scarfs there…)
Favourite Athlete: Maria Sharapova… Bless her… So pretty…

Does Chris Hoy look a bit like Flash Gordon…? This all feels a bit surreal, and  perhaps a little like Eurovision Song Contest, I really wish I could press the red button and hear Terry Wogan commentating on this…

There really are a lot of countries aren’t there, I mean say what you will about communism and the Soviet Union but it really sped up the parades at Olympic openings. I feel quite sad that I am so hugely ignorant of nearly every country in the world – particularly when there are so many different shades of pale yellow cardigans….

Seychelles white suits remind me of the legendary Spice boys of Liverpool who played in that legendary FA Cup Final.  It’s remarkable to think that those suits actual represent, on the scale of the outfits on offer, something very tasteful..

Country whose name sounds like Yves St Lauren – Solomon Islands (say it in a Eurovision style)
GIANT ALERT– Spain are planning to win everything by scaring everyone with the tallest man the world has ever seen, although the outfit is a little McDonalds uniform circa 1984…
Least Surprising Attractive Country: Sweden
Most School Uniform Like Outfit: Switzerland

I’m only going up to the end of the procession… It’ll be the USA coming on in a minute, that’ll take 40 mins to get them all through, also they are all wearing military style berets, good to have that imperialistic militaristic style, so unlike them as well..

Where? Timor-Leste
How Long:  Apparently there is 15 mins until team GB… I can’t help but think I can’t name enough countries between T & Z to last 15 minutes…
Best Flag Bearer Hat: Ukraine, it appears to be a black fez with a yellow ribbon coming out of the top…. Pretty cool.

Is it me or it is worth a giggle every time someone says the words “Trap shooter”… Meanwhile the 10,000 members of TEAM USA flood around the stadium…

Biggest look of “We could have spent this money on job creation”: David Cameron
Biggest look of “Worth every penny”: Lord Coe
Least likely to be answered: “If you’re a grapple fan…. ”

AND HERE WE ARE… Yes and sporting gold collars and wearing white… GOLD AND WHITE… Yes, if we don’t win every medal now. Chris Hoy looks like he’s about to burst into tears while The Queen looks bored out of her mind. Tom Daley really should be laying off the fake tan, especially when the official kit is white, it won’t wash out, unless you get baking soda, and even that is no guarantee…

It should be said that the last time i heard Galvanise by The Chemical Brothers I was living in Holland so it’s fair to say it’s not a song that reminds me of sport… Apparently Paul McCartney is ready to go and we’re moving towards the climax… I hope he plays Live and Let Die… Inappropriate but but could be fun!

The best way to test whether shell suits are still dangerous is to fire fireworks on 204 countries elite athletes… Danny Boyle making sure Sheffield is represented… Arctic Monkeys…

Now the bit I want to watch… Sorry… People on bikes pretending to be birds… Not going to miss this…

 

 

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